Our New Addition

So we received a new addition to our household yesterday afternoon. She is a loud addition. But every time I look at her I cannot help but smile. The kids are all excited and very careful around her. Kirk seems most excited of all. What joy she will bring - especially to me. Our neighbors even came over for awhile and were almost as excited as we were. The Powell's kids are all older so they seemed to have a different perspective of it all than most. One of my nicknames for her already is "Beauty". She really is beautiful.
Now Mom and Dad - do not get panicked - we have not added a sixth child. We bought a motorcycle! A Yamaha V Star Classic. She is red and silver - just beautiful - real old school looking. She is also tough sounding - I cannot help but get a perma-grin when she is started up. That rough rumble sound - I love it. I cannot stand a motorcycle that is quite when you start her up.
Kirk is going to ride her to work. I will drive his car when I do not have all 5 kids in tow. And the SUV - that is a gas guzzler - will only be used when necessary. With the money we will save on gas - it pays for itself!
You have to understand how wonderful this new addition is. Kirk and I do not go on dates. We have neighbors that go out twice a week sometimes. No our dates are quick motorcycle rides around the neighborhood - like 20 minutes tops. But that is because the bike we are now selling is a little Honda Rebel. It has two seats - but the second seat is only big enough for a 10 year old to be comfortable on it. I literally would grab on to Kirk's jacket every time we hit a little bump in the road - scared I was going to bounce right off the back! The V Star will allow us to ride comfortably -- and more safely. The Powells are all excited about us being able to go on little day trips with them. We think that heading to Jackson Hole for the afternoon is a perfect first ride. We will see if we can find the time. It sure would be beautiful.
I think everyone should take a motorcylce trip once in their life. My only personal rule - is no big busy highways. Drivers on highways and freeways like that are usually in a huge hurry and never look for motorcycles.
Anyway - that is our beuatiful new addition!

Random Thoughts

So as I am up and listening to the busyness of the kids getting ready for the last two days of school (both are half days) my mind keeps jumping from one random thought to another.
Like - I am so tired my eyes hurt.
Do not ever call your flip flops --- thongs. You will get very odd looks.
I do not want to face this day - too busy for words.
Cannot wait for school to be done so we can sleep in a little.
Excited about moving my business.
Stressed about how much work moving it will be.
Wonder how many people will come to the baptism this weekend.
How much food will we need?
No Ball Games Tonight!!! Oh - it is Pack Meeting tonight though - and I am in charge. UGH!

How is that our mind jumps so fast from one random thought to another - in just seconds. Faster than I can type. What is the connection from one to the next?

Funeral Potatoes

I am making funeral potatoes today -- for a funeral. I was asked a couple of days of go if I would be willing to so this. Funny thing - I have never made funeral potatoes. I realized last night I didn't even have a recipe. Which for most people would be not unusual - but it is a cultural thing here.
I told my 5 yr old what I was going to make, explaining I would also make them for our family that night. He just stared at me - then said he didn't want us to have to have a funeral at our house just to eat the potatoes. Never thought what a 5 yr old might think if his mom wanted to serve funeral potatoes!?! I told him ours would be cheesy potatoes instead. He was much happier.

Pain - physical and mental

I am tired of having to worry about pain. It has been almost 2 months since the whole strange pain started. And still no definite answers to what it is. After meeting with the specialist it is leaning towards some time of arthritis that probably was set off by rheumatic fever in February. We were working in our weed filled yard today - that was until the down pour. (Why is it always sunny during the week and raining on the weekend?) Kirk (DH) came up and and told me to stop digging out the weeds in one area because I was going to be sore later. I replied the I was going to be sore later no matter how little of work I did. It is true. I am hen pecking the keyboard right now. The pain I have is not in anyway like ti was when it all first started - I could not walk due to the pain in both legs. But I seem to have more pain in my hands and arms more often now.
I didn't think I would right this much on this blog this fast - but it seems a great outlet for these feelings and thoughts. I do not complain vocally to anyone about the pain. Really it isn't everyday - but when it does show up it makes me feel old, and useless. Maybe that is why I do not give into it. I am afraid if I stop and give into it - it will be worst - or that I would never be doing anything because of it.
I own a online swimsuit company - and so I do a lot of work on the computer - but I also do shipping and tagging of the items - all of which sets off the pain in my arms and hands. But this is the busy season - no way I can give into it. And then add all the activities with 5 kids and the end of the school year. WHich brings me to one of my pet peeves --- why do teachers on every level wait until the last two weeks of school to plan every play, program, report due, and party ( well I get the party thing) until the last two weeks of school. I wonder if the teachers all think it is a little payback for all the pain the rear parents they have to deal with all year. But for those of us who try not to make many waves - it is torture! Whether it is physical torture for the running from three different things in one day with two kids in tow; or the torture of guilt if you cannot make it all the things.
Last week alone between all the kids our calender had orchestra concert, baseball games, singing concert, talent show, Kindergarten graduation, softball practice, youth group, scouts, book report due, display due, a school dance, and that does not include all the everyday business and home items. I know by the end of the week I was snapping at my kids for every little thing. I am sure those weeks the Lord looks at me and thinks - "You are falling Short- be kind to those beautiful children you are blessed with." I want to say back - "then make them listen the first three times I say something."
OK - off to do more work. Venting session over.

Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day! I wanted to post a "thank you" to all the those who have given their lives in protecting this country and our freedoms. And to all those who are the family members that have lost a loved one fighting for those freedoms.

Also, I have been thinking of my family members that have left this world and gone on to a better place. To my and my husband's grandparents that we have both learned and gained so much from. There are days I wish they were still around to give us their perspective on things. My older brother that died from a car crash when I was still very young. I did not know him very well, but he seems to come to mind once in awhile still. When he does I immediately think of my Dad - losing his oldest son. I never remembered the exact date of my brother's death - but I always knew it was that time each year from the way my Dad acted. Very "off in his own thoughts" the days leading up and a few after. Being a parent now I cannot imagine losing a child. No matter how old they were - or how long ago it was - its not something you would "get over" - but I think you just go through different views of feeling and looking at it. My oldest sister and her husband lost their youngest son 9 years ago. He was barely a teenager and was hit at night while on his bike. I was a teenager when he was little and remember him giving me big hugs all the time I was near him. He loved watching movies and playing video games. He is still that little kid in my mind - even though he was taller than me when he passed away. Funny thing is that my 5 yr old boy reminds me of my Nephew in soooo many ways.
My heart aches for those not here anymore, but only because of my lost. In the same moment it is filled with joy for them because they are a lot happier where they are. And some day we will all be reunited together again. My grandpa once said that the only thing he wanted his family to remember when he was gone was - "He did not want any empty chairs in Heaven." Meaning, we as his family needed to live a life that would keep us on the right track - one that would make him proud when he met us in Heaven some day. I think that thought is always in the back of my mind when making decisions in my life.

Perspective is a Good Thing

Perspective is a good thing.
After posting this morning about dealing with a sick child, my DH just read from a blog about a friend of his with cancer. He has been getting sicker and sicker - while waiting for a transplant. The Blog is his wife's writing from her perspective of dealing with this situation on a daily basis. Tonight DH read to me that they were headed to SLC for a transplant. Which is great news. Once there and in the waiting game of when the actual transplant would take place - the doctor had to give them the talk about "if the cancer has spread these are the options we have..." Basically they said if the cancer has spread we can remove your liver and give you the new one and you will have a few weeks longer than you normally would but with medicine helping the transplant take it will make the cancer spread like wild fire, and the second thing is if the cancer had spread there is a chance he would not even make it through the surgery. The husband said if the cancer had spread - do not give me the new liver - give it someone that can use it for forty years not a few weeks. I love my family but I will not have any regrets.
Perspective......
A moment like that - looking into someone else's life - a life that is so on the brink of either continuing or ending - makes you (or at least me) take at look at my life. If something happened tomorrow, and I was faced with a moment like that would I answer in the same way? Would I be at peace with my own life and the choices I have made? Would I have any regrets? Would I do anything different? Would I need to apologize to anyone - my husband, my children? I am sure if I went over every second of my life I could come up with quite a few things I would do differently if given a chance, but then again maybe not. Only because I am a true believer that the mistakes of our pass help us learn and become a better person in our future. (If we really learn from them.) I am far from perfect, but I kind of like where I am at in my life - and who I am. I have a laundry list of areas I feel I fall short in, and have a desire to better at. I look at who I was at the time of graduating HS - almost 20 yrs ago, and the person I am now - the knowledge I have, the experiences I have gained and I would not change the journey that has gotten me here. Wow! I didn't even know I felt like that until I wrote it. Peace. Perspective.
Sick kids, dirty dishes, never ending laundry, diapers to change, bills to pay - these are the items that can bog us down if our perspective is not in focus the way it should be. Instead of letting them be negative things, we should be looking at them as blessings. A blessing that I have kids to be sick, dirty dishes means we have plenty of food to eat, laundry means a house hold of activity and family, diapers mean we have a little one to bring a special joy in our house, bills means we have a roof over our head - electricity - running water - heat. Perspective - it really is about our perspective at any given moment in time of our daily life.
I hope tomorrow as I am faced with those diapers, dishes, laundry, and bills I will be able to keep some of this perspective I have late tonight.

At home with sick child

I am new at this blogging thing. I am at home from Church with a sick child. There is nothing like the smell of throw up to start your day off! And no matter how many times you wash your hands - you smell it for hours after the moment happened.

There should be an award - or at least a tax deduction - for every time you have to clean spit up, poop, and everything in-between as a mother.

A few weeks ago my 1 yr old had runny poop, and my 5 yr old was constipated. He had been for quite a few days. So that particular day I was helping my 5 yr old get everything out and trying to slow down everything coming out of the 1 yr old. There is nothing glamorous or beautiful about days like that. By the time my DH came home - I was a mess! In my mind I kept thinking - please love me even though I look this way. But in the next second I thought - YOU - you did this to me. The mind of a stay-home -mom!! We either are o top everything and run things like a fortune 500 business -- or we are two bowls of Cheerios away from the nut house.

And then the next day seemed to be out of movie. My two youngest - poop free now - seem to be the most loving children. Wanting to give me loves, and they went off and played together so I could get things done for my business - not to mention I made a dent in the never ending pile of laundry. I swear, I actually heard birds singing outside. And I thought, you know, yesterday wasn't THAT bad. Days like today make up for days like that.

Why is that I cannot seem to remember the great days when I am in the middle of those - let me back in bed days? I guess it is actually the opposite. When we are having the good days we forget how awful the bad day was. It is a lot like child birth. We forget how painful it is - and how miserable you are the last few weeks of pregnancy. IF we didn't there would be only one child households all over the world. I thank my Father in Heaven I was allowed to forget. So are my 4 other children that came along after the first!!