CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Are You A Peacemaker?

Matt. 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

So this coming year I have decided that each month I would give my family a challenge to grow a little closer to the Lord. This month is going to be becoming a peacemaker.

I have struggled this last year on how to get everyone to control their tone of voices and yelling. It has become habit to slip into - even when we do not mean to. We love each other - we have fun together - and no one ever acts like that outside the home EVER! SO why do we do it? There is no need. So I gave them the challenge on Sunday. Monday afternoon it was a little rough for a bit - but since then it has been great! I put signs up around the house - big one in the kitchen - small one in the corner of the TV - front door - back door - mirrors in bathrooms. All say either - I am a peacemaker, or Am I being a peacemaker? I realize it is only been a few days - but all I have to say now when someone is about to have a meltdown is "Are you being a peacemaker?" or "Who is being a peacemaker, you?"

I will update once in awhile how this is still going. But for now it is great! I cannot express my excitement I feel so far in words here on this blog.

I have to figure out what each month is going to be here on out. But peacemaker is not going away - just added to each month. It will fun and interesting to see what we have done over the year and how our family is then.

Christmas was lovely! Each child received one thing they wanted and then we had family gifts - board games - matching hats for all the guys and matching bracelets for us girls. The best gift we received outside of our family - was from my sister and brother-in-law. They gave us a Wii Fit. I LOVE IT! I am obsessed with the boxing. I love to box. I know some would be shocked by this - but I do! My arms are killing me - but that is good.

My favorite thing about Christmas is Christmas Eve. We always have stories, and lots of lots of music. Children and adults participate. This year we had saxophone, piano, and cello along with a lot of singing. i hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas too.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Blessing of Children

So I do some joking about my kids - even venting when necessary =) on here - but my kids are everything to me! I own a business and it has been 5 yrs of growing it. It totally could be a HUGE company by now if I was willing to give more time and travel to it. But my kids come first. I figure the Lord directed me to start the company - if I keep my priorities straight He will bless the company to grow the way it needs to, when it needs to. I mention all this because of what our neighbors have gone through this last week.

I need to put good thoughts out there for this neighbor and her family. They are a young couple with a 2 year old daughter - Taylee. They just found out last week she has a cancerous tumor on a kidney. Their family is in Seattle - so this little family immediately flew up there to a Children's Hospital. The last we heard Taylee was going to have her kidney removed and would start chemo there until after the first of the year and then come back here to finish it up. 2 years old! Surgery - removal of a kidney - chemo. They said it is totally curable with these steps - but what HUGE steps for a 2 year old. As a mother my heart aches - for all involved.

It also makes me want to draw my children close and hug them a little tighter. It makes me appreciate that all the health issues we have faced this year in our family have been doable.

The way things unfolded with Taylee and her parents and her diagnosis (which I will not get into detail here) - are a definite testimony that the Lord knows each of us. That He truly lays groundwork for us to be angels in each other's lives. That proves that there are no coincides. That even though we have our free agency - if we are willing to open our hearts to the Lord He will use us on a daily basis to bless others.

So let us all get on our kness - thank the Lord for the blessings we have - and ask that our hearts may be opened to Him so we may be a tool for Him to use today for good.

Merry Christmas - and may God Bless each of us with a peace in our hearts that allows us to love our neighbor truly as ourselves!

Monday, December 8, 2008

SNOW!

We have SNOW! I love it when it snows. For a girl that grew up in Vegas - I feel like a little kid every time it snows. I love having EVERY season here in Idaho.

There is something so peaceful and feels like home when I wake up to a fresh snow fall in the morning. The peace of no traffic, or footprints in the snow. I think that stillness must be a little like heaven. That my spirit must remember a little and that is why I long to just sit and enjoy that feeling as long as possible.

It feels like a Christmas time Finally!

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Parenting

As a parent I have found myself in an area I never thought I would have to face....the 14 1/2 yr old daughter zone!!!! (Be afraid - Be very Afraid!) And realize you WILL get more grey hair - in the last three weeks I have had 10 hairs pop up. I have named them after my daughter. I say I never thought I would be here - because my teenage daughter has always been one I can talk to - we have our disagreements - but we always seem to work through things. She is also good about trying to see where her Dad and I are coming from. Not any more. She is still a great girl - but she will argue her point to the day she dies if I let her. And when we do see her side it is never enough for her.

Example - we have a rule that there is no night time school dances until she is 16 and can go on dates. After school dances are fine. We also have a rule that she can go out with friends or do an activity like a dance, once a week. After all she is 14 years old. When she is 15 or 16 that will probably change. Each year she gets a few more privileges. So she was allowed to go see a play with a friend this Thursday. It was a school night and she was not going to be home until after 10:30pm, but her friend did not have anyone to go with and she had not been able to do anything with this friend for quite some time. So we felt as long as she did not complain the next morning about being tired we would let her go. She then tells us the next day she would like to go to the Winter dance next Friday night. We tell her she knows our rule about night time dances. She then pleads her cause - which we always allow. She explains it is the only night time dance - there is only access to the gym and bathroom and there are always lots of teachers. Also that this is the only 9th grader only dance of the year. It is the one dance all the 9th graders look forward too. They get to wear nice clothes - but not formals.

We hear her out and decide we would allow this one exception. But instead of being grateful - she then also says she wants to go to the movies tonight (well this all was last night) with her friends. We remind her that she already went to the play this week and she is going to the dance next week. If she would like to give up her dance next week - we will allow her an extra activity for this week. She says she does not understand why we won't let her do extra chores or something to earn the movie night. We try to explain to her that we already went and agreed to the exception to the rule on the dance - and it is about choices - life is full of them. IF she would like to give up the dance she can go to the movies. It is her choice. After a very long argument from her I finally says "What are going to choose?" She states that if she HAD to choose she would choose the dance - then starts her argument again. I cut her ff by saying, "Wonderful. You have made a choice - the dance it is. Thank you for talking with me and explaining your point of view. But we have gone over EVERY point we need to from both our sides and we have come to a conclusion. Love ya." And I get up to leave. Because I know if I stay there she will argue her point another 1 1/2 hrs.

My point is as a parent I am thankful we still talk - argue - whatever. But it drives me crazy that she is not thankful for what we try to let her do. That we truly try and see why things are important to her and be flexible when needed. I also know from working with youth that girls go through this stage. Mouthy - defiant - argumentative - and moody. It hits just before 14 1/2 and stays usually until just after 15 1/2. Then just before they turn 16 they return to their usual helpful and understanding child. I just hope I can survive this coming year. And that I don't get any more grey hair! ;)

With all this said - I have to say I AM blessed to have a daughter that is a good girl - and we are not facing more SERIOUS problems that many parents of teenagers face.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Happy Thanksgivng - Merry Christmas - Happy Holidays

So Thanksgiving is next week! It is also my mother's birthday. So it should be a nice time. It is being held at my home this year. Which I do not mind at all. I LOVE having family around.

Then on to Christmas.....I just have to say - my Christmas shopping is done! There is onlyone present left on the list and it is my HUSBAND'S job to get it. I keep on him - but with his Master's thesis due this week and then more artwork that needs to be finished, I hope that he gets with it and orders it soon so it is here on time.

My list this year included - SIL and family gift, In-laws, parents, sister and husband, sister and son, niece and nephew, 3 sons, 2 daughters, husband, and friends. We had a budget - but decided to go a little over due to 2 of our son's wish list. 6 year old ahs asked for a drum set for the last 3 years. We found some that were not too small or too big that were over 40% off, and way under $100. So we spent a little more than the $50 budget we had set for each kid for him. Youngest was $40, youngest daughter was $45, oldest daughter was $49, and oldest son is the one that has not been bought for yet --- he wants a rc airplane and DAD is suppose to do that one so MOM doesn't screw it up and get the wrong one. ;)

I am not getting anything except a little cash - for spending when I go with my husband to his "graduation" for his Masters back east. He has to present his thesis paper - and I am going to go and be there for him. So my airplane ticket and a little spending money is my Christmas.

The great thing about getting things done before Thanksgiving is that I can relax and enjoy the Season WAY more. I find it enjoyable to go to the different school programs, and concerts, and parties...because I do not have to squeeze shopping into all of that. I really can feel the Spirit of the true meaning of Christmas and not have to focus (as the mom) on the gift part of it during those few weeks. The down side i would have to say is i usually buy a few more books and movies than I would have since I stretch it out - I sometimes forget what I have already bought from SC. SC brings our family books and movies and maybe a stuff animal or coloring book and crayons nothing big. But with 5 kids and different ages - I sometimes spend a little more than I thought I would. But if I am going to spend more - books are the best thing to go overboard on! =)

I just love the feeling of Christmas. You (or at least I) cannot be upset or depressed when I hear Christmas music or watch an old Christmas movie. In fact I collect nativity sets - usually just the Holy Family - and keep them out all year in my living room. I do this to have a little reminder every time I go in there of the feeling I get. I love seeing baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph looking down on him. The thought of how overwhelmed Joseph must have felt with the HUGE responsibility in front of him. Not only does he have Mary to help and take care of - he has to raise the son of God! Talk about first time parent worries. Then Mary knowing how amazing that little baby in her arms is. What a huge thing to live up to - to be his mother and knowing that there is no making mistakes with this one. I just am in awe every time I think of the two of them and am humbled of that thought of what that little baby did when he grew up - what he WILLING did for each of us. Just amazing!

So to each of you - I hope you can let go of the rushing and stress and focus on that feeling of awe and amazement --- and have the Peace enter your heart - that Peace on Earth the Angels declared unto all of the World.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Parental Rights

So as a parent where do our rights end? I have been trying to understand if Prop 8 if over turned would really affect the children/schools in Cali. I have researched some thing in Mass. public schools over the last 4 years since same sex marriage has been legalized there. MANY schools have programs and even Gay Pride Days that the students have no option to opt out of. Starting in Kindergarten. I remember when I was in school that my parents had to sign a paper saying they ok'ed me having any kind of sex ed in health. Why is that happening now? if the school feels the need to teach something on social and sexual issues - why not allow the parents to opt out if they feel the need. I just do not understand why that is no longer and option in some schools?

So I started thinking about all this as a parent. Where do my rights as a parent begin and end? When does the schools, government have a right over my belief system I would like to be able to teach my children. Will they start teaching our children some things to big things like that there is or isn't a Santa Clause, there is no right and wrong it is all about what makes you happy, or that anyone who believes in a God is disillusioned some how? With more and more parental rights slowly being taken away how can we be sure that won't happen? I am not trying to be extreme - just curious of how far it will go.

I wonder if I didn't live in such a conservative community would i have to face the challenge of keeping my kids in public school - affording private school - or feel my only option would be home schooling? I hope that I am lucky enough NOT to have to be faced with that choice anytime soon. It was would be a very hard thing to know what course to take. But the reality is there ARE parents in this country starting to face those choices and questions.

It will be interesting to see where we are in 8 to 10 years with this issue as parents.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Where do we stand?

The whole prop 8 in Cali has been very hard to deal with personally. I think this post is one that makes quite a few things clear and is very emotional for me to read.

http://www.ldsmag.com/ideas/081110hate.html

So where do you stand? Can you be Christlike in your thoughts and actions - even when people disagree with you? I think this thing in Cali is a great telling sign of what kind of person you are. Hateful when people do not agree with you -- or Love and Pray for those that see things different and even are hateful towards you? It is very human to get upset, defensive, and want to "do" something about it - when you are being attacked - or worse yet something sacred is attacked. But as stated in this article - Christ reacted in different ways in different situations....all with control and not hate.

So the question keeps coming to my mind is - as a parent - what are the things my kids are going to face as they get older.....because I have a feeling that the peace as a Church we have felt for soooooo long is over. That we will have to decided if we truly have a testimony of the Gospel and the Leaders - or we don't. It will be as simple as that....funny thing, I don't think it will be very simple for many. And as a parent we have to teach our kids now more than ever that they have to have their own testimonies to stand on - to face the world they are in - and how to be truly Christlike even when we do not agree or even when we are being attacked.

It will be interesting to see where we are as a society in 20 years......looking back 50 years - it is amazing how much has changed in our society. So much has changed each 20 years from that time forward - and seems to be changing at a faster rate now than it did back then.

Now is the time to get down on our knees - not a time to raise our voices in anger.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election is over...now what.

We have a new President. I thought both Barrack Obama and John McCain gave beautiful speeches last night. I was very upset and disappointed in the crowd at McCain's speech. Very low and not classy at all. But John was a true American. I hope all those that supported him will do as he asked - and support the new president in building up this country and bringing it back to the glory and and beauty it deserves to be. We have absolutely nothing to complain about over the next 4 years if we refuse to do our part in making things better.

I hope and pray that President-Elect Obama will keep his promises and truly make this the UNITED States of America and not have division in the Government. Now that the Democrats have control of the House and Senate and now the White House --- they have NO ONE to blame if things do not get done. I better see progress over the next 4 years.

I am not one of those people that called Obama evil. Or thought our country was doomed with him being President. But I still stand on the thought that he was one of the most liberal Senators as far as voting. And I wanted change in Washington. Let's hope that he will truly be bi-partisan - unlike Bush who said he would be, and then was anything but. Don't get me wrong - I think Bush did try hard to do what he felt was right - but he made mistakes and never admitted to them and that always bothered me.

Calif. Prop. 8 looks like it will pass - close still - so we will have to wait and see. Arizona and Florida passed marriage between a man and women only. It is great to see that --- and hopefully people understand that these measures do not take away the rights of anyone. We can and should never discriminate against anyone. But marriage is and should always be defined as a man and woman - it is the way God intended.

I have always wondered how people can argue against that. God did not make ADAM and ADAM or EVE and EVE in the Garden - nor did he write a man should leave his mother and father and cleave until another man. I will not and cannot argue or explain why people feel that attraction - and I do not deny that they do. But people want to have sex before they are married - they have that urge and desire - but that does not make it right in the eyes of the Lord. And those that are gay are not horrible people or evil or less than. I have great respect for those that feel that way that I know. It is not about them personally. But I have to answer to my Lord - and He will ask if I stood up for His teachings. Did I stay true to what I believed? And at the same time - was I Christlike in my interaction with ALL that I come in contact with?

You can disagree and still not be a bigot or hateful. You can stand up for your views without putting down another's. You can believe in the Bible and what the Lord says - and not be a right-wing hater. I just wish those that do not agree with me could see that.

Yes, it will be very interesting to see where this country is headed. Where the economy, and if our safety in this country changes. I guess we have been told many times that those that are prepared need not fear. So we get prepared for anything and see how things go.

I feel so blessed to live in this country that allows us the freedom to vote and have our voices heard. May God Bless this Country and each of us as we face these challenges that are ahead of us.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Future of our World/ An Individual Part

So I have been studying a lot about socialism - since Obama has made statements about spreading the wealth. This is not a good thing. It is way too long to list everything I have read about it - but socialism is one way of our individual freedoms being taken away. Now do not get me wrong - I am totally for helping those less fortunate - but I think that should come from individuals or Charities - not Government...and we should not be FORCED by government to do this.

It seems the more our cultural seems to be "enlightened" and "open" to everyone's situation and views...is exactly when they close off their minds and acceptance of traditional religion and God. There is no longer right and wrong - you are only judgemental if you go against the politically hot button of the time. So what do you do?

Time after time we have been warned that when this country turns it back on God - God will leave this country. He cannot bless us if we do not do our part and open our hearts to Him. So instead of fearing of where our society is headed - we need to be more concerned at where WE are headed as an individual. Then we can effect those around us in a positive way. We have to live up to our fullest potential and then we can have our hearts opened to how we can be a positive influence to those in our lives.

Just something I have had on my mind lately.

Fall is Here

Well, Halloween is over - and the warm weather here has finally started cool and get rainy. LOVE IT! It is about time for true FALL weather to show up. This high 60's is crazy for this time of year.

Halloween is very nice to have warm weather though. No coats OVER the costumes this year --- very nice. My kids were Belle from Beauty and the Beast (14 yr old), Indian Jones (11 yr old), Butterfly (8 yr old), Ninja (6 yr old) and a mini Indiana Jones (22 month old). It was a very fun night.

Now on to Thanksgiving! My mother's birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year. My parents are coming to my house for Thanksgiving - and my sister that is in Utah and my sister just 15 minutes away with all her married children. So we will have a full house. My mom has thrown my Dad 2 surprise birthday parties - my dad has not even thrown my Mom one since she turned 40. So my sister that live nearby and myself are going to decorate my house like Madri-Gras(sp?). Since my mom's favorite colors are purple and green - we figure it would work. So this year's meal will have some of the traditional items and we will throw in some Cajun/New Orleans style dishes too. It is going to be A LOT of planning and work - but worth it.

I cannot believe it is November already. This year has FLOWN by. Before I know it I will be clean up the mess from Christmas - ho ho ho.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Politics

I do not know about the rest of you - but I am SICK of the whole politics thing. I have truly been one of those undecided voters for most of the campaign. During the primaries I had family upset because I did not automatically lean republican - or more specific Mitt Romney. But I don't vote down party lines. I research the best I can the issues, the candidates past records and work. I like the whole CHANGE idea. I am tired of the typical Washington way of doing things. Anyway, so I was open to Obama from the beginning. But sad to say - the more I research and read and learn from independent sources - the more I truly believe he is NOT ready to be President. I think it would be in the best interest for the country to have him be a Senator for a few more years and make changes in the Senate. The thing that got me was his voting record. I read A LOT about each vote he was present for. If he voted at all - a lot of times he didn't vote - when he voted it was with his party EVERY TIME! I was so disappointed in this. I was hoping when I looked that he would have crossed the isle with his vote at least a few times.

The other thing I am tired of is the media calling the election already. Like John McCain has no chance. That is fine if it is true - but let us decide on election day instead of the media making it sound like there is no point of anyone backing McCain to vote. I admire McCain a lot for what he has done - even admitting to his mistakes of his past. But I am not sure he can be a great president either. Both men bring qualities that can be good as a president - but both are going to need very STRONG cabinets to succeed. And both are going to have to reach across the isle to make anything change in Washington.

If I had one wish to be granted for this election it would be this - that everyone voted their heart and moral convictions and not just with a certain party or who is most popular at the moment.

God Bless America - and let's all pray the right person is elected to bless this country and take it into a positive direction. Unfortunately - we are told that this world is going to get worst before it gets better.....and the constitution will hang by a thread. I have to wonder if we are on the beginning of all that starting?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Step It Up

So my Church had their annual Women's Broadcast this last weekend. It was so good. The first speaker made me feel like it was time to really step things up. That it was time to be a little stronger, be a little more committed to my standards and beliefs and to live them even fuller than I do. It also made me feel like the time of Christ's second coming is closer than we realize. I guess we can just look around and see how things in the world are getting further and further away from the standards of Christ.

I read about a Catholic Church program in Boston that has had an adoption service for 100 yrs - and it had to close its doors because it did not adoptive to gay couples. And because of the laws that have passed in Boston on same sex marriage and couples rights - the Church was deemed breaking the law by not allowing same -sex couples to adopt.

I was shocked that a Church program that has done so much good could be closed because of a few who made choices in their lives that have to be protected ---- but what about protecting any religion from government. Just something that confuses me.

Anyway - the last speaker said at the end of her talk -
"Sisters, now, more than ever we need women to step up and be strong. We need women who declare the truth with strength, faith, and boldness. We need women to set an example of righteousness. We need women to be anxiously engaged in a good cause. We need to live so that our lives bear witness that we love our Heavenly Father and the Savior Jesus Christ and that we will do what They have asked us to do. We need to “rescue all that is finest down deep inside of us” so that as daughters of God we can do our part to build the kingdom of God. We will have help to do this. If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrain’d from being your associates."

Can you imagine if all the women in the world - no matter their religion - lived up to this statement? What kind of changes could be accomplished in this world? If we all lived our faiths to the fullest, to try to fill our time with good things and not waste time we are given? The truth is - those who have children and truly try to be the best mom they can be - are anxiously engaged in a good cause. Society sometimes try to play down the importance of a mother's role - but it is so important.

Here is a story that I LOVE!!!! It is such a great reminder to all those whole touch a child's life. It is long but worth the read.

***Invisible Mother.......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask me a question.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.
We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.**

Friday, September 26, 2008

Just Beautiful!

Please click below - or paste and copy into browser. The music and pictures are amazing!
Enjoy!

http://mabrystudios.typepad.com/reflections_of_christ/2008/03/reflections-sli.html

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Joy of Motherhood

So I had a moment I might have posted about before - but wanted to make sure I did. Sorry if this is a repeat.

Last week Coulson woke up in my bed (he had climbed in about 5 am) and he just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle and talk and sing. He kept telling me "no momma" when I would suggest getting up and getting breakfast or getting dressed or going and watching TV downstairs. He just wanted to stay in bed. I started wondering if he was sick - but he didn't act or look sick. In the back of my mind I kept thinking that Ihad a very long list of things I was not getting done. then this thought came across my mind - "THIS IS YOUR JOB! THIS is what is most important on your list. Being his mom in the way HE needs you to be." And I was instantly filled with joy and feeling blessed to be able to stay home with him and be his mom. What a HUGE blessing to be a mom. I know many women who have a difficult time having children or cannot have children of their own. I will never take that blessing in my life for granted.

CJ was laughing so hard the other day that it reminded me of something he did last year. He was tickling Coulson trying to get him to laugh. He was soon tickling Coulson behind his knees. I asked CJ what he was doing. He looked up at me and said very seriously - "I am tickling him in his leg pits." I laughed so hard I was crying. That kid can be so funny - he truly comes up with some good ones.

Adyson yesterday at dinner was sharing her adventures she had had with her friend that afternoon. She was telling us about looking in a photo album that had musical programs in it. She named them one by one -- "Hello Dolly, Music Man, and Ohio." Ohio? Ohio? we all asked her - She answered very sincerely and then sang- "Yeah - you know - OOOOOOO - hi - o where the wind comes sweeping down the plains." I couldn't tell her why I was laughing for a minute or two. I told her she was very cute and then explained it was Oklahoma.

I know I vent a lot on this blog --- but there are many times I am laughing through my days. In fact right now I am daily saying my life is a musical. My kids (all 5 of them - yes even the 21 month old) are always singing songs from BYE BYE BIRDIE, GUYS AND DOLLS, HAPPIEST MILLIONAIRE, HELLO DOLLY, MY FAIR LADY, NEWSIES, AND CATS. My 11 yr old son gets sucked into the singing while doing dishes - he is the one that sings mainly the GUYS and DOLLS songs that the gangsters sing - or NEWSIES. Got to keep it manly - I guess. =)

We have a family reunion next week - and we are suppose to bring something for a talent show. I will have to post what we all agree to.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Children - Babies - Next Season of Life


Of my 5 kids, the two oldest have their moments - but have been pretty easy kids over all. The next two are the ones that give me grey hair - that I totally color! =) The 8 yr old will get upset and yell any time she is asked to do something. It is like I am picking on her because I point out what she needs to do - and has not since I asked three times before. The 6 yr old screams when ever he gets upset. I put him in time out for yelling in the house or throwing a fit like a two year old over having to turn off the video games, or come in from playing outside. But time outs only increase the yelling. I have prayed and prayed for guidance on how to be his Mom and help him break this habit --- but I swear he just like to hear noise coming out of his mouth. Because sometimes I say something and he doesn't hear it - and so he stops crying and screaming instantly and asked what I said in a very calm voice. It seems I get pulled into yelling just to be heard by the two of them - and THAT does not help bring a feeling of peace in our home. I guess I just need to keep trying and praying and hopefully I will get a light bulb moment on the solution to it all.

So I think I had a miscarriage last month. I could have not been more than two weeks along - passed a lot of tissue. But having this happen and unplanned and thinking we were covered - it brings into mind the question of is there another baby waiting to be apart of our family - or are we done? I had such problems with the 5th and last - physically after the baby was here - that we both felt it was very selfish to take a chance of something happening to me and leaving our children without a mother. But I have to admit - making it permanent that we are done is a lot harder to decide. It is basically just getting in the mindset that we are now done with that season of our life (having babies) and moving officially on to the next stage of raising the kids and moving towards the years of being empty nesters. I realize that is years away - but it goes soooooooo fast. Seriously - I could be a grandmother in 6 to 7 years at the earliest. But it is a possibility. And that will be here faster than I want to admit to myself. Plus I think about the fact that I still need to figure out how to be the best mom for the two that I struggle with. I love them all so much and do not think it is fair to add a baby when they all need more of my attention right now at all the different stages they are in. I guess I do not have any answers right now - and not really feeling like I need an answer - but it helps to just write it all out.

The most important thing I can hang on to, is that through the questions of what is to come next, how to teach my kids the best way for them, and where I need to head in my life - is that I know that I am not alone. I KNOW that my prayers are heard and answered - too many times in my life that show that is true. It is such a comfort having that knowledge. I feel so blessed to know this as life gets crazy and stressful. Because that is just the way life is - it doesn't mean life is horrible - in fact I feel like I am so blessed I sometimes wonder why I am so lucky.

Friday, September 5, 2008

School - Fall - RUN RUN RUN


School is going well. My 6 year old is a little more whiny than usual - but I think that is just him trying to adjust to ALL day school. My 11 yr old missed 3 of the first 8 days due to bronchitis - he is fine now - but not a good thing to miss that much with your first year of multiple teachers. My 14 yr old made the HS play - so now we are into the after school practice schedule. The musical they are doing is BYE-BYE-BIRDIE. Almost 20 month old is missing all his brothers and sisters to play with - but the last few days he wants mommy to lay in bed holding him in my arms and just talking and laughing and singing songs --- how lucky am I, that I get to stay home and do that. i have to admit, the first morning he was extra clingy and I thought he might be sick. But then I kept thinking of everything I was not getting done. Then it hit me --- this is the job I am suppose to do - take care of him. I am a SAHM for a reason and I think I sometimes let the to-do list take over more than it should.

Now for the update on my 8 yr old. After fighting since January for a Dr. to listen to me - I spoke with a specialist and found out that she is insulin resistant - early stages. Luckily I didn't listen to the first two dr. from the same office. I kept pushing - it took until Aug (from Jan) for me to finally get them to order blood work. I have to admit at one point I thought they were right and I was just overreacting.....but the MOM Alarm kept going off that something was just not right. She had gained weight in her tummy, chest and face...but her pants size had stayed the same. Anyway, she has to watch her Carb. in take and I have already seen a difference in her.

So Fall hit here full force this week. Monday it was barely in the 50's - very cold and rainy. This whole week we have had only one day in the 70's for the high - and most days have been in the 60's. We might have a bit of a warming again in a week or so - but then it will be full force Fall and sooner than laster Winter! It does not seem possible.

This week also was the start of piano, gymnastics, play practice, scouts, ect. I have aways been about keeping the activities to a minimum. My kids number one job is to be good students. Amanda is at play practice three times a week, youth group once a week, and piano once a week. Parker is at Scouts once a week, and piano once a week - he opted not to do Fall Soccer - I think with all the new classes at school ( 4 or 5 different teachers and more homework) he wanted to make sure he was not over loaded with other things. Adyson has Achievement Days - which is what 8 yr old girls do here instead of Scouts - every other week for one day, Power Tumbling once a week, and piano once a week. CJ has gymnastics Tues. and Thurs., and his singing group once a week. With piano and the singing group across the street at the neighbors (no driving needed) - the youth group, scouts and ach. days two blocks away (quick drop offs) I think it makes it manageable. Not too stressful or crazy. But still very busy!!!!!! Finding time to sneak in dinner as a family is a little tricky some days. =)

I feel like I constantly hear the gingerbread man song in my head - "RUN! RUN! As fast as you can - you can't catch me I'm a mom with a plan!" lol.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Sweet 16!


Well, today is my wonderful husband - Kirk - and my 16th Anniversary. Sweet 16th! I cannot believe it has been that long. I do not feel old enough to married that long. But at the same time it seems we have been together forever.

So in honor of that I thought I would list a few of his positives - because we always focus on our own negatives.

I call him my renaissance man. I know only a few people like him. He is detail oriented and creative all at the same time. He can look at things from a very common sense way to very over the top when necessary. He is a great artist and has a great head for business. He is comfortable behind the computer, on the basketball court or on a motorcycle. Kids, especially babies, seem to flock to him. It is like they sense that he is one of "the good guys". He is truly my partner and best friend. He respects me and my point of view - and treats me as an equal. He is the hardest worker in the world. I have never worried about our family being taken care of. I feel truly blessed to be married to him.

I look back on the last 16 years (17 with dating) and cannot believe the life we have and have had. The 5 great kids we have - a beautiful home - peace - and true happiness. Our life is not perfect by any means - but life is too short to dwell on negatives or struggles - or let them keep you down.

So today - am just want to tell the world how lucky I am - how much I love my Husband - and how life is truly beautiful!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

School is Back in!


Well, school is official back in! This Summer has gone by so fast. Even with the few rough days with all the kids home - it was a great Summer. I really enjoyed being with my kids this summer break. Yesterday was one of those rough days - but ended in a great evening. This is the first year since Amanda was little that I have only had 1 child at home all day. It is a weird feeling - but at the same time has a certain peace about it too.

CJ started 1st grade - which means school lunch and all day school! It does not seem possible he is that old. Adyson is in 3rd, Parker is in 6th and will have about 4 or 5 different teachers this year and a locker - and Amanda is official a Freshman in HS even though she attends the Jr High. they all looked so much older this morning as the headed out to get on the bus. It is so weird to send then to school their first day on the bus and not take them and walk them into the school.

It was so nice this morning to get everyone up - have breakfast and sit and have time to read scriptures together and pray before they headed out for their day. Maybe that is why I feel peace - we were not running around crazy trying to get out the door and not miss the bus. All I know it is was very calm and nice - even had time to take pictures of them before they left.

We went to the zoo last week. Our end of Summer day. We went to the zoo - watched the animal show, had lunch their and the kids even got a souvenir animal water bottle with lunch, rode one ride at the Funland park next to the zoo, and stopped and bought an ice cream cone for each on the way home at McDonalds - and Ronald McDonald was visiting that store and hung out the drive-thru window to say "hi". It was a great day! Nice way to end the Summer Break.

So what to do with myself all day......I wish I could say nothing - but that is a joke. I could spend the whole day catching up on the laundry that is in the laundry room and hallway - yes hallway! Actually I have made a dent in it - but I need to get on top of it. I could deep clean my house after a summer full of kids in the house --- I could spend about a week at 'Ohana trying to inventory and reorganize the warehouse. No there is no rest for the weary. =) But, whit only one child at home - it will be a lot easier to focus on a project.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Summer allergies (or cold), Sunday Afternoon, Quiet House

So I worked in the yard all day yesterday attacking the 3-4 foot high weeds that were taking over the flower beds in the front yard with the family. I usually do not have terrible allergies, but something out there hit me hard. Throat itchy, eyes itchy, watery eyes, runny nose...lasted all day and all night. Woke up this morning achy too. Thought if I could just get up and going I would be fine --- wrong. So I bathed the baby -and made sure everyone else was ready to go, and DH came home for the Church Meeting he had and picked up the kids.(We usually meet him at Church.) This has left me alone in a quiet house. I cannot remember the last time this house was quiet this summer!

Drank a few cups of tea, took a shower and rested. The troops will be home in about 30 minutes. I still feel achy and not so hot - but I cannot stay in bed all day. I wonder if I have a combination allergies and cold or what!

The other day I emailed some family members a quote from a book I am reading. Not one person responded. DH says that maybe people are thinking I am trying to be a "Holier Than Thou" attitude towards them. I don't get it. I am sharing things I have read and learned because I am excited about it. I figure they already know what I have read - but it is always good to hear things again. Anyway, I was really frustrated by the thought that that could be the case. I mean why is it ok to send political, humorous, or even gross stuff through your email to friends and family - but if it religious or uplifting or makes you think it is being pushy or holier than Thou!?!

I love to learn new things and new ideas. I love to even learn them from friends of other faiths. I think there is way more that unites us than divides us.

But it got me thinking....yes, I know I do that a lot. =)
Why is that politics and religion are things we tend to shy away from in speaking to our friends and even family about? Why is it so heated if we do not see things the same? Why can't we listen to each others points of views and respect our differences? Why must the majority of people feel like they have to make you see their way and have to have you agree with them - or they get mad and even very angry at you?

I would love it if my family and friends emailed things they had read and come across while studying a topic. It would be a welcome moment to learn something new or a different point of view. I mean - I don't know about everyone else - but being a SAHM and working my business full time in the Summer - I do not have the time to read and study everything that I would like to. SO if someone happens to get excited about something they have learned - please share! I may not agree with that point of view - but then again I am open to listening to it and may be persuaded to seeing things differently.

I guess being that I am usually slow to take offense ( and I wasn't offended by what my DH suggested - jut confused by the possibility of it being true) I am confused by how people get so upset when someone says something they take offense to. I think in most cases people do not mean to offend - and rarely even realize that they have. SO it is the person taking the offense that has chosen to be upset and angry over what is being said. Does that make sense?

I feel like I am rambling - so off to bed again I go.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Still busy - but finally started a book for the summer!

We just came back form a family reunion - my side. We have it every year at Bear Lake, ID. It was very relaxing - those who bring the drama every year were not there. It was very uneventful - but so enjoyable.

What was not enjoyable was filling our car up for the trip. $105! UGH! And we have another family reunion next week - another $105 plus for just a little over 1 way of the trip!

Back to the positive. I was able to have time to start a book I have been wanting to read. "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience" by Neal A. Maxwell. I have always stayed away from his books - just because when ever I heard him speak, if I even was distracted by a child for a second I was lost and could not get back to what he was trying to say. So I took this book on as a challenge to me. To stretch and challenge. I am only on page 28 - but absolutely love it. I am starring paragraphs and underline sentence after sentence. Every page has a new gem on it - and I am eating it up!

Here is one thought from the book -
"God loves us all - saint and sinner- with a perfect and everlasting love. We have His love, if not His approval. It is our love for Him that remains to be developed. When we come to be genuinely concerned with pleasing God - more than with pleasing any in the world, even ourselves - then our behavior improves and His blessings can engulf us. This sublime feeling can be experienced only if we come to know enough about Him so that our awe melts into adoration, and our respect into utter reverence."

That is on page 3! There is no easing into things - he just jumps into this deep thinking and every sentence he writes has meaning - and truly is not just there to fill space on the page.

I have not had time to read this Summer. I thought about reading more of novel type book - but I have been trying to study the scriptures more - not just read them. And to Draw Closer To God - and figure out what that means on a deeper level to me. So along those lines, I thought this book would help me on that journey. And I have to say it is not disappointing so far.

I am now trying to figure out how to fit in reading, exercise, kids, work, laundry cooking and cleaning into each day. If anybody has suggestions let me know! ;)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Too Busy to Blog!

So it has been a couple of weeks since I have posted anything. Way too busy. Life is still busy - but I am letting some laundry slide for a bit while I jump on and blog.

Amanda survived Girls Camp. She came back with a blistered and burned nose - but it looks A TON better now. She also learned a lesson at camp. The last few years the girls have broken open glow-sticks and splattered them across the room. It always dries and disappears with no problem. But this year too many glow-sticks, new girls that rubbed them into the walls and floor --- and one big mess! The girls ended up having to paint over the walls - and luckily it covered everything up. The girls each have to pay $1 towards the paint they had to use. Amanda felt really bad - because she really didn't think it would hurt anything, since it didn't the years before. I told her it is better to not do things that might destroy other's property.

Parker went on his first overnight Boy Scout Camp. He did great. He passed a ton of things off. I can't believe he is old enough to be a Boy Scout!

Soccer is in full force for Adyson and Parker, softball is ending next week for Amanda, and CJ has about three more weeks of summer Gymnastics.

My business is in full swing. Orders coming every day - what a blessing!

Kirk and I went on our first BIG ride on the new motorcycle. We went from 9:30 am until 5pm. We did a big loop from here up to Jackson Hole and back. It was BEAUTIFUL! LONG - but BEAUTIFUL.

I have been studying the scriptures more lately. Thinking about and trying to figure out what it means to "Put the Lord first" in our lives. It can mean so many different things for different people. It can also mean something different at different times in your life. SO I guess I am trying to figure out what it needs to mean in my life now. (If anyone has a thought on this in their life - please post it!)

Another area of discussion lately around here is money. Kirk should be finished with his MFA in January 2009. Which means we will have to start paying on student loans! Somewhere between $32,000 and $40,000. UGH! So we have been trying to figure out what we can do to bring in some extra money to help pay those off. I am considering be certified as a medical transcriber. This is something I could be certified in - in about 8 months and work from home once trained. I am hoping it all works out and I can do that. It would be great to do less of it in the summer when 'Ohana is full force - and more of that work in the off season. I guess we will see where and what I am doing in a year from now.

OK enough quick rambling from one topic to another - back to laundry....and life.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

My Darling Daughter is 14 -- time is flying by!

Warning - I might ramble a bit in this post.

I do not feel old enough to have a 14 yr old daughter. It does not seem possible. It just seems like yesterday she turned 10 - and before I know it she will be 18!

I think I am feeling old - because the other night we met her Uncle - my brother-in-law --- for dinner. My husband was going to join us late. So I was there with my 5 kids, and the brother-in-law shows up and he has one of our nieces he was babysitting. Anyway, he ran out to the car to grab something, and I asked my daughter (the 14 yr old) to slide down next to the little baby niece to watch her. The waiter came back to the table - turned to my teenage daughter and asked her - "Do you know what your HUSBAND would like to drink?" I got lightheaded as I heard that question...not being dramatic..... I truly felt lightheaded and a little sick. How could ANYONE mistake my 14 yr old for a wife! But then I looked at her all dressed up and taking such good care of her little cousin, and I thought I guess she could be mistaken as older, even for a second.

But a moment like that makes you realize that you will soon become a mother-in-law and then a grandma --- and it will happen in a blink of an eye! Life just goes by soooo fast, except on the days that your kids are driving you crazy. Those are the days you would swear had 48 hrs in that day and not just 24. =)


How does it happen - where does the time go? I bet we can all look back 5 yrs ago and think "that seems like only a year or two - not five!" I have days that I cannot believe that I am 35. It doesn't feel like I thought it would. I really have to stop and think about how old I am - because I see myself younger than that. I have decided that I will always be young at heart. I think that the saying "Your as young as you feel" is true.

Health area I AM 35, my 5th pregnancy did a number on my body. And until I look into the mirror I forget that my outside does not fit my inside image of me. I have had more health problems since I became pregnant with my last child. Ups and downs, scares to big relief and joy. And I know someday I will finally figure out how to get the outside me be as fit as the inside me feels.

So as I am writing this, I am listening to my 11 yr old son and 14 yr old daughter clean up the kitchen. And I have to smile -- because having your children get older faster than you wish some days -- DOES have its benefits. ;) I will just remember that the next time I cannot believe I am old enough for children that old. I need to stop and rejoice in the season I am in.

I think this post is a great example why I write this blog. It seems writing these feelings down sure helps me a lot to change my view on things or figure a way to feel better about something...and usually it happens by the end of my post.

As tomorrow is the 4th of July -- may I end this post with a Happy 4th to you all --- but especially to all those who are or have served our country and allowed us the freedoms we have. I would add a thank you to their families too. May we all have a wonderful and safe 4th of July weekend.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Why Satan Knows How to Break Us!

I know, I know...the title is a little intense. But I wanted to get your attention. I had this light bulb moment the other day - again at Church and then my reading. It started off about how to stay strong against Satan. And then about how it is scary how well he knows our weaknesses and exactly how and where in our lives to work on us.

(Before I give you my personal thought on this I think I need to clear something up of those not of the LDS faith-- we believe when we were in Heaven that Heavenly Father heard two plans for this mortality. One from Satan - then Lucifer and one from Jesus. We believe before Satan was evil and the Devil as we know him today, we has one of our brothers in heaven. Satan's plan was that we come here with no free agency - all choosing the right all the time - no need for a Savior - but all the glory from the people would go to him. Jesus presented a plan that said we all come here - have free agency, make mistakes and learn from them but because we would not be perfect - there would be a need for a Savior to take away our sins so we could live in the presence of God again. And the glory would be the Father's not Jesus'. ---- this is a very quick overview of it.)

So, I started thinking about families - trying to keep them strong and then about how to protect it from Satan, and how is it he knows us so well? And this thought came to me --- He was our brother in Heaven before he became evil. Our minds have forgotten what we were all like before we came to this earth---but he has not. Just like a sibling, he knows what buttons to push. I watched my kids in the car the other day, and was amazed how the younger ones knew just what to say and how to say it to get the older two all worked up. Now my kids are not evil of course, but the way they know each other - the weakness of the other, the things that make them mad or sad --- brought to mind the way Satan knows exactly how to get to each of us. As a sibling would.

My areas of weakness are not the same as my husbands. Satan can hit me over the head in one area and not have it effect me at all, but he can just slightly start picking in another area that I am weak in - and sooner or later I have allowed him to make a crack in my defenses if I am not careful and mindful of what he is trying to do.

This may not be a thought any of you agree with --- but for me it was a moment to help me understand WHY Satan is so good at what he does.

It just made me realize that as a mother I need to teach my kids even more how to watch out for that sneaky way Satan has --- and as a Daughter of God I need to realize that Satan is going to work 10 times harder on those trying to live good lives and who are trying to draw closer to God. We all know of at least one person we have watched make choices that have lead them in a direction that ends end sorrow. And a lot of times they are people we never would have guessed that would happen to. It is sad and makes the mother in me want to grab my family and go hide out in a cabin far far away from it all. But then reality hits and I realize that if those of us who felt that way did that - then Satan really does win.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

So we are taught by Christ to "Love One Another". I have been thinking about this today while at Church, and during some of my reading. I believe all of God's plans and wisdom is of course for a reason. So I started thinking about this and families. I think the Lord had the plan of families, to teach us HOW to "love one another".

Kim B. Clark wrote - "The Lord wants us to learn to love everyone, but the plan is that we start by learning how to love and serve those we know intimately. In this there is great opportunity for growth."

How better for the Lord to teach us and guide us to, hopefully, love everyone - or "love one another" - than to have this divine plan called a family?


I mean seriously isn't being part of a family the ultimate "boot camp" of learning to love people unconditionally!?! I know that I love my children unconditionally. I have to - if am to survive the throwing up, dirty diapers, endless laundry, being a taxi driver to them, supporter of each, cheerleader to all, leader, and giving up my "to do list" at the last minute because of their needs....without even a second thought. In those moments I am not thinking "poor me", I just act out of the love of a mother. It is later that night when I am exhausted that my more human mind points out how I did nothing on my list and I am tired of dealing with poopy. ;)

Families are the perfect place to learn not to yell - how to show love and concern - how to sacrifice - how to lose oneself in serving others --- and on and on and on. All the things that truly help us learn how to be Christ-like in our lives.

Are we perfect at it? Of course not....that is the great thing about this life. We get to learn and grow - if we so choose.

I know as I look back at the week or two of the "no yelling" and "no saying things more than once" that it has helped me take a step in this area. I always knew I loved my kids and without a second thought I would die for them....but at the end of the day was I truly loving them with all my heart unconditionally? The answer made me sad - it was "no" a lot of days, or at least "love them but not liking them too much at this moment" was the feeling at the end of that day. But in these few weeks the answer has been way more times a "yes". I figured out it is because of my response to them.

See, when I have not allowed myself to "lose it" with them, or let them "push my buttons", or "drive me crazy" to point of going over the edge, I do not hold any frustration towards them. I am calm, and love them and try to teach them that they choose to act a certain way , and that they then in turn choose the results their actions cause. There is no need to allow feelings - like a good friend use to say - "a feeling like I could drop kick them across the room" {not really but you get the picture}. We want our kids to show calmness and love and kindness...they will only do that if they see it in us.

I still have days I fall short in this area --- but I think having this thought today about Jesus teaching us to "love one another", and the family is the place to truly start living it and learning it --- I think I might just possibly have way fewer days that I feel I am falling short in this area. I can at least hope and pray for that. =)

So I challenge each of us to try - just for one day - to truly love one another as the Lord has taught us. Maybe if we each did that, it wouldn't be such a scary world to raise our kids in. Just a thought.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Balancing -- and we all fall down


So this question has been running through my mind lately. "Am I just an abnormal mother?" I ask this - because it seems to me there are many areas that I am just WAY different in my thinking than those around me.

The biggest way is leaving my kids with other people. Kirk and I have gone "out" more the last 6 months than we have in our entire marriage. That is due to having an almost 14 year old daughter, and a baby that is no longer nursing. Kirk and I go "out" to the store, a 20 minute bike ride, or to the Temple - that is the longest date. Anyway, my friends around here go out at least once a week for two or three hours. They have a get together with other couples - no kids - at least once a month. I do not like leaving my kids home for more than 2 1/2 or 3 hours tops. I feel guilty and worry about them. Kirk and I go out of town maybe once a year - there have been a few times it has been twice -- but we alwasy have our kids stay with one of the sets of grandparents. And even then I feel bad asking them to do that.

I guess I just have always looked at it like this -
Kirk and I decided to have 5 kids - no one else. We are at the Season in our lives that we still have young kids and they are our responsibility. I do not feel good about leaving them with others to watch once a month or more - so we can go play. I figure it is up to Kirk and I to be creative in how we can find things to do together that does not keep us away from home for long. Like movie date night - we get take out and a movie for the kids and a movie for us. The kids stay downstairs with their movie and we sit in our bedroom and have dinner and watch a movie with no kids. Or we go for a 20 - 45 minute bike ride together.

It just seems lately we have had sooooooo many offers to go do fun things with other couples, and I am always telling them we can't go, or only for part of the time.

Another part of it is - if my kids have been home most of the week, with no activities with friends - and we have some extra money (yeah right) to do something, I would rather do it as a family. Make memories with all of us.

One couple wants us to go on a full day bike ride with them. We need to do this at least once this summer, but that means asking someone to have our 5 kids at their house all day, or having someone come to our house all day and interrupt their plans.

Then the Bishop and his wife invited all the Bishopric to their house in West Yellowstone for a Fish Fry at 6:30 in July, and then to go to the Playmill Theater to see a play at 8:30. But that means we would be leaving here about 5pm and getting home around midnight. And it is in the middle of the week! So people have to work the next day. So I thought I came up with a good balance for the night - we would come to the dinner and socialize - and not go to the play. But I am already getting the "guilt" about how there is plenty of time to come with a solution so we can go to both. I would love to - but I still say I am at a season in my life that I need to balance kids, work, husband, self, and Church.

I need to feel like I am not letting one area slide ( too much) while I focus on the rest. I have friends that are involved in EVERYTHING. They have small children and have no problem handing them off to neighbors, parents, whoever. That is great if that works for them - but not for me. For heaven sakes - I am the one that has run a company out of my house for 5 years - with no room for it - because I did not want my kids to think that IT was more important than them.

Balance - I guess it just comes down to what works for each of us as individuals. But it does not stop people from making comments that make me feel like I am abnormal or crazy. Which I do not understand - I am not judging them on how they balance things or do things.....if it works for them great - but why do I have to do it their way!?! And if I don't I am just weird.

Another thing is rules. We have different rules than almost EVERY one of children's friends. But I just keep telling them that every house is different. That what one set of parents feel is good for their family and home, is not going to be the same as us. And that is ok - because each set of parents can be helped by Heavenly Father to know which rules work for which kids, and which families. And over all - our kids are great and good kids. They still are kids and drive me crazy at times - but they are good kids.

Oh well, just had to throw that question out into the universe. Maybe I just need to keep doing what I am doing, whether I am abnormal or not - it seems to working be for us on most days. =)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Grand Ol' Flag


Tonight was Pack Meeting. I am the Cub Master and was in charge of it.

We had a bbq outside and did a flag ceremony. We had the field lined with full size flags posted - 12 of them. It was beautiful!

There is just something about the American flag - waving in the sunshine. Something just stirs up in me. I feel so very blessed to live a country with so many freedoms. I am so thankful to all the those who have served or are serving in the military and their families. They have made such sacrifices so that my family can have the life they have.

I shared a story about John McCain tonight at the Pack Meeting. Sen. McCain tells about when he was a prisoner of war. And that at one point one of the other prisoners had taken pieces from clothes, scarves, handkerchiefs - whatever he could and used a bamboo needle he got a hold of. This prisoner made an American Flag and sewed inside of his shirt.
Every day when they got a bowl of soup - they would hang the shirt up and say the Pledge of Allegiance before they ate.

Here these men were beaten, starved sometimes, and had a terrible life as prisoners -- and yet it was important to them to pledge allegiance to the country they were serving.

I LOVE this story. It just makes my heart just fill with pride to be an American.

So - to all those who are or have served - Thank You! And God Bless America!

Monday, June 23, 2008

We are Home!

So Coulson woke up at 2:30 am to have a drink...he can't have one because he is not allowed anything after midnight because of his early morning proceeder at the hospital. He is upset -- and decided to be stubborn and stays awake ---- until he is at the hospital! So Kirk and I are up from 2:30 am this morning. He cried when they took him into the room for the oral surgery. I cried walking back to his hospital room. I laid down and tried to rest a bit while we waited. It was about 7:45 am when they took him back and about 9:30 am when we were taken to the recovery room. they could not get him to calm down. He was very loopy and not awake completely - but he could feel the splint that was on his right arm that was keeping his arm still with the IV in it. He was crying and trying to get it off. I had not eaten anything this morning at all - or had anything to drink and when he started waving his arm around blood started going up the IV. I got light headed and the had to wheel me to his room. I felt so stupid. But they immediately had Kirk carry him back to the room too and I laid in the bed holding him.
he was out of it for awhile. Kirk finally was able to ask him if he wanted to go for a walk and see the fishies in the lobby. That seemed to be the trick. They took off the splint and we headed down the hall.
We then came back to the room. He had also eaten part of a Popsicle before we went on our little walk. And when we got back he drank a little juice and had some ice chips.
Long story short --- he is doing ok and is asleep on my bed still.
The DDS had to do a root canal on his right front tooth and fill a cavity on the left front one. He then put a cap on both teeth. he put sealant on the molars and extra fluoride on the other front teeth. Coulson has to go back in two weeks for more fluoride on the front teeth. and to check the caps. It is just crazy that he drank juice form a bottle for only 4 months - we brushed his teeth twice a day and he still ended with a root canal!!! Amanda drank juice for 1 1/2 years and never had any problems with her teeth.
OH Well, I am just glad it is over. I hope Coulson is up and about tomorrow. Now, I need to go lay down and try to rest while he is sleeping still.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

What a Difference a Day Makes (good and bad)

So Friday did not end up at all like I had hoped. It was as crazy and full of running the whole day. We finally all hopped into my bed at 9 pm to watch a movie until Kirk came back from a trip. My nerves were shot by that night. Then Kirk gets a call at around 10:45pm from a friend that said he wanted Kirk to go on a motorcycle day trip in the morning. I told him to go and enjoy himself. I knew he really wanted to go - and he works so hard - that I couldn't ask him to stay home. But I have to admit there was a little - very little - part of me that wanted to yell "NO!!!!! Stay here - I cannot do another day of kids without you! I need to get things done without 5 kids in tow!" But I didn't.

So Amanda comes in Saturday morning and asked if I was going to let her spend the morning with her friend - since dad was already gone - so that meant no yard work yet. I asked when she would be home - "probably like 1pm" she said. "Fine, go" I told her. Then I felt bad for the other kids. They are always staying home while Amanda goes here and there with her friends. So I decided that I should drive them to I.F. (25 minutes away) to the Mall so they could spend their birthday and chore money they had. Plus my 8 year old decided to get her ears pierced - which my girls can do at 8.

My husband calls and said he thought of some things we could do when he got back - if we wanted to stay home instead of going to I.F. and do some chores until he was home. I relayed this to the kids --- but then decided that did not seem fair. Kirk and Amanda were off playing and we all were to stay home working. Then EVERYONE got to go play!?! So I decided to just to go to I.F. to be fair to the the little ones. But the almost 6 year old screamed and cried for 30 minutes about going fishing with Dad instead of going to the Mall. I tried to calmly explain how he could do both - but it was not making any sense to him.

So, by the time I was finally ready to get everyone in the car my nerves were shot again.
I.F. was great. Kids made some good choices with their money - daughter was brave as she had her ears pierced. Then I decided to make the most of the gas money spent to go to I.F. and go grocery shopping at WinCo because they are cheaper than any place in Rexburg. We did the shopping - had a car load - and went to start the car....nothing. Tried again - nothing. The car would not start. But the AC was working and the radio so the battery was not dead. I could not figure it out. It was now 1:30 - Amanda was home but Kirk who thought he should be back by 1 also was not. I called my sister, brother-in-law and even my MIL who was 45 minutes away just to get some help on figuring it out. I checked everything I could think off. Half hour later in the hot sun - $15 roast I splurged on sitting in the car -- Kirk called at 2:10 saying he was on his way. 10 minutes later from his car he asked if I had the car in park. I said of course the line is on the "P". He said to push the gear stick up hard and turn the key - I did - the car started right up! It seems that the gear had slipped a little and was not in "park" all the way. I was thrilled it was nothing major or expensive to fix - but irritated that I had not even thought of something like that 30 minutes before.

The day just went down hill form there. I even tried having a big picnic at the park and let the kids go on the water slide for dinner. But afterwards we had to make a stop for Kirk and while he was in the store the kids were just out of control picking on each other. I tried not to yell on the way home - but I had a very tense and loud voice about how I was done and burnt out and shaking, my nerves were so shot and on and on. Funny thing was as soon as I got it out of system - I was fine. Very calm and in a while not upset at all. I think I just needed to let it out.

Went to Church today - that was very nice. And later this afternoon I found my almost 6 year old sitting in the big chair in the living room with his 18 month old brother. CJ was telling Coulson to fold his arms. Then CJ would tell Coulson to say things - like "Say Dear...Heavenly....Father....Thank you....for ..... our...family....for....Jesus....for...house....in...name...Jesus....Christ....Amen." Those are the moments as a mother I live for. It helps me realize the stressful days come and go - but moments like that last forever!
Tomorrow is the big day for Coulson. I will update tomorrow about how it goes!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Too Many Thoughts - Too Little Time



The other day my husband and I were talking about how the last month or two it seems that our voices are being raised - yelling - or we are grounding our kids left and right. We have not been able to figure out why. But it is getting to be more often we are upset with our kids than being calm with them.

I told him we should just stop. Just stop yelling. Just stop telling them things three, four, or five times and then yelling to get them to do something. We have taught them to react this way. We have allowed them to learn that we do not mean it the first time we say it. We only mean it the 5th time when we are yelling.

So, yesterday I told the kids that I was done doing that. I would tell them once. Then I would remind them of what we are talking about right now, then there would be a consequence. I would not yell, I would not repeat myself 5 times, and I would not give into any amount of whining once the consequence has been placed. I loved them and respected them too much to yell at them, or teach them not to respect me. They assured me they loved me, knew I loved them and they said they respected me. I said wonderful - so this should be easy.

Today, I did not raise my voice once...not when the almost 6 yr old climbed and straddled the railing that is in the stairwell - where if he fell, he would end up at the bottom of the staircase in the foyer on the tile floor. Not when he climbed up later that night when he stood on a box and leaned on the other railing that is in the foyer and drops straight to the tile floor. Not even when he sprayed 2 different kinds of bug repellent spray (like OFF!) on himself while standing inside the house - in the upstairs hallway. I had everyone open all the windows, and directed him to the shower to get all the chemicals off of him.

I even stood my ground with my 8 year old daughter. She was getting ready to go to the water slide at our local park with her brothers and sisters. I was going to drop them off for 45 minutes while I ran and filled orders for my company. She started screaming about not finding her swimsuit. I reminded her that I was not going to allow yelling in the house. I calmly asked her to stop and go find her suit. Look in the laundry room, since the last she saw it was in the bathroom - and the dirty clothes that day had been picked up by her brother and put in the laundry. She had a meltdown. I calmly told her she had once chance to stop and then she was not going. She kept it up. I then said, there was no need to find the suit. She would be going to work with me. She begged, she pleaded and asked what she could do to get the water slide back. I told her nothing at this time. The consequence was in place. She knew and was warned to stop acting that way , and now she will have to live with her decision.

I have to say, it was hard. I felt bad that she didn't get to go on the water slide - but she now knows Mom means what she says. And Mom never had to raise her voice once to be taken seriously. She came up to me tonight and said she was sorry, and knew I was not a mean mom like she said when she was upset. I guess everything will be ok.

Called the Hospital today to pre-register Coulson - (18 mos. baby) - for his dental surgery Monday morning. We go in 6:30 am, he is taken in at 7:30 am. I have had a peace about it. He went for his 18 month check up today. They also cleared him for the procedure Monday. He is only 21 lbs., and 31.5 inches. Small for his age - but so bright! He has over 100 words. He can follow directions. He can say a few words together to make sentences. He amazes me. His Dad is very nervous about it. Which is funny to me. He has never been really nervous about nay of the other kids when they have had things happen to them. Normal Fatherly worry for each situation - but not nervous. I think because Coulson is so little for his age, our last baby, and we had more concerns during my pregnancy with him, may all add up to why Kirk is the way he is with him.
Kirk has a nickname for each child - Amanda is Punky, Parker is Bug - now Bud, Adyson is Little One, CJ is Chief, and Coulson is Friend - more specific My Friend. He loves each of his kids. He celebrates each of their strengths or talents. Amanda is wonderful at music - Cello, Piano, Singing. Parker is going to be a filmmaker someday. He just has a memory and thirst of knowledge for this subject. Adyson is a wonderful writer. She makes the best cards. When she is asked to make a card for something like Father's Day - th other kids will write the normal love you and happy father's day...she writes all the things she wishes and hopes for Dad on that day. And then list the things she loves about them. CJ has a lot of energy and once he sets his mind on something he cannot be taken off of it. Right now this is can be a frustration for us - but it will be a huge blessing in his life when he is older. Coulson is a fast learner. He learns a new word or item every day. Kirk loves these things. He also loves that the kids like to listen to all kinds of music, they like all kinds of movies, and have a desire to be good and make good choices.
Anyway - with ALL that said, he seems to be a little more protective with Coulson. Maybe it is because he sees how big the other kids are and how they can take care of somethings themselves, and Coulson is not like that yet. He is still a baby. I will post what happens. Fingers crossed and prayers being sent.
This week - well really the last two weeks - have been crazy! I have not been running. Like I have said before - house seems to be out of control with clutter --- things being dropped as we run from one thing to the next. So tomorrow is "little running as possible" day. Parker is not going to Band Camp at 8 am. We are first going to sleep in - because it is summer vacation and we need at least one day this summer that we do that. Then we will stay in our pj's until just before lunch. We will have breakfast, and turn a movie on while we pick up the downstairs. We will not answer the phone or door. We can then get cleaned up for the day - have lunch - I will have orders to do for work (reading time for the kids)- and then we move to the upstairs. Clean and pick up every room upstairs. Then free time will come in play - kids need fresh air. After free time for the kids, we will check and see what is left, do dinner, play games maybe and watch another movie...because you also have a day you watch two or three movies with your kids. Just so they can say - we worked hard, but had fun playing and watching movies that same day. WHAT A DAY!!! Now, let's see how the real life plays out tomorrow.........

Monday, June 16, 2008

Father's Day

Father's Day is a great Day to remember our Fathers, Grandfathers and those who are like Fathers to us.

I will start with my Husband -
Kirk is the Dad that can pick up a crying baby and the baby calms right down. The whole family knows that Kirk has a special touch. Children just seem to be drawn to him. The perfect example of this was years ago at a Dinosaur Museum. There was an area in this little corner for little kids. They had toys, and hand puppets - all dinosaurs and books about dinosaurs. The floor was a rug that the kids could sit and play on - and there was a bench that wrapped around the area for the parents. Kirk was sitting on the floor reading to one of our littlest. Our child got up and was playing with some toys. Kirk just sat there with his legs crossed - when just then a little 18 month old looking girl came up to Kirk turned around and sat down on his lap. She looked up at him like - "ok ready". Kirk asked her if she wanted to read a book. The mother of the little girl kept calling her by name and telling her to come here. But Kirk said it was ok. The mother came over and took the girl and apologized to Kirk. Like I said - kids just seem to sense something about him. I am so blessed to have a man like him as my husband and father of my children.

My Father -
My Dad and I have an interesting and great relationship. When I was little he would give us horsey rides on his back - he would get down on all fours and buck me and my little brother around the room. He taught me how to keep my foot on the base and stretch to catch the balls that the other kids would throw pass me when playing softball. When old enough to drive, once in awhile he would have me drive him down to the gas station in my car, fill it with gas - go in to pay and come out with a pop and a Snickers bar for each of us. He would then tell me he would drive - go the long way home and say not to tell my mom. When I was engaged and he and my mom were having a hard time with me getting married so young --- we would argue on the phone to the point of yelling. Then at the end we would be laughing and saying "I love you". My Dad has been my biggest cheerleader for my business. He believes I can do anything -- but has his moments of still treating my like a dizzy blonde or a 12 yr. old. I know this is just because I am still and always will be, his little girl in part of his mind and not a grown woman with 5 kids. He is the best "Papa" in the world. He will stand at the pool table at his house for over an hour with the littlest of the grandkids, so they can sit on it and push the balls all over the place. He works more than 10 different businesses just to build something for his family in the future. Family is everything to him, and I so appreciate this.

My Father-In-Law -
My FIL, Larry, is a great man also. Just like my husband and father - he too is a hard worker. He taught Kirk how to work and honest day for an honest pay. He taught him to honor his Priesthood, and family. To teach your children to honor their mother, and show her respect. Kirk says he does not remember his father raising his voice too often with him - except one time when Kirk mouthed off to his mother -- his father was not going to allow that. Larry set Kirk straight right then and there. Kirk never forgot that. Larry and I have a great relationship - and I am thankful for that. Getting along with in-laws is a huge blessing. We have an ongoing teasing session. We know that we must love each other - otherwise we wouldn't take the time to pick on each other. He has told me how much he appreciates how I support his son and the kind of mother I am to his grandchildren. What more could a girl ask for from a father-in-law than compliments like that?

I am so glad my children have these great men in there lives -- my sons can look to them to learn how to be great and honorable men when they are grown, and my daughters can see what kind of husbands to strive to marry - and not settle.

Happy Father's Day to all those great Dads in the world!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Airplanes Everywhere....but no CJ to be found!

So today was the annual Airplane Show. It has become a tradition for us to go. It started at 10 am. But we were running a few minutes late and the traffic was bad enough that we sat at the corner to turn on the the road for parking about 10:10 -- not too bad. So the first few acts we saw from our car -- kids out of seat belts going from one side of the car to the other trying to see the planes in the sky. Me wanting to say - "Get in your seat belts, there is a cop up there!" - but I am not going to be a freak today. I am going to let me kids be kids and enjoy themselves.

We park not to far away, load up with water bottles, chairs, sunscreen,hats, and stroller that carries most of the things and not the baby. Because lets be honest - he is lighter than the stuff.

We pass through the gate - I am head counting - making sure we are all together. I am pushing the stroller and the troops are following. I find a place I think is great - we are not too far back from the runway and can see well. After we start to set up Kirk says we should move. I don't care - I just want to be sitting and watching at this point. That is when I realize - we are missing CJ. My 5 1/2 yr old is gone!!!!! I look all around us - no CJ. I scan up and down the area with all the people - NO CJ! I tell Kirk I am going to head down the way we came. I assume he will go the opposite way. This whole time he says to calm down - and that he will be back and that maybe CJ will learn from this. He also assures me he will show up. I don't care - it is my job to FIND him. I am sure he is scared and cannot see over all the adults walking around.

I walk the whole length of the runway - one direction. I turn around and start back to where I started. I see where our chairs are and make eye contact with Amanda as I approach. "CJ?" I ask - she says no. Kirk is still sitting holding the baby in the same place I left him!!!!! I will be upset with him later.

I turn and see a police officer standing by a bike. I approach him, his back is to me - and before I can say anything, the woman he is speaking to at a table ask, "Are you missing a little boy?" A flood of relief rushes over me as I say "YES!" "Is it one of these two?" she asks - as the police officer moves so I can see next to her. Two little boys about the same age -- and yes CJ is one of them. He is eating a cookie and looks very sad. He runs to me and I sweep him up into my arms. His legs are hanging as I walk away with him held tightly in my arms. We get back to our chairs, and I sit down. I cannot help but let the tears finally flow.

Adyson ask why I am crying. I said - "I was so scared - but couldn't think about it while I looked for CJ. I guess the tears are because I am so happy and over joyed he is safe - that it is ok to cry now." I find out that he had kept walking to look at the cool planes - then turned around and couldn't see us. The police found him and took him to their table to wait for us to find him.

Then CJ announces a minute later that he has to go to the bathroom NOW - and cannot wait.

We stand in a line of 30 people ahead of us - at least - for the port-a-potty. We wait and wait and wait. Just as we get close where there is only 6 people in front of us - he screams while holding between his legs - that he cannot wait another minute! A sweet older woman behind me taps me on the shoulder and points to the grassy area behind the building and says - "Just take the poor boy behind there." I do. I rush him and get him around the corner and he is pulling his pants down a little as we turn the corner --- just to see a woman changing a baby on the ground - we make a wide quick loop pass her and he has his relief. I really do not think we had another second to spare. As we walk back towards the line of people still waiting - the "grandma" lady smiles and ask if we made it. Then her husband says, "I wish she would grab my arm and run me behind a building instead of having to stand here!" Nodding to his wife.

CJ is the child that I fear the most for. He is the one I am just holding my breath that he does not get hit by a car, falls off some playhouse roof and breaks something (or a real roof), that gets taken by some horrible stranger, or that we end up leaving him at a stop during a car trip. The kid never listens, follows directions, and seems to do the exact opposite that he is suppose to. I color my hair off and on now because I started having grey hair spring up --- and I know exactly who has given them to me. He is also the one that is to blame at least in part for every scratch and bruise and cut lip the baby has had. In fact Thursday night he was the reason the baby ran off my bed head first into the floor. Which resulted in a huge knot on his forehead. Coulson is fine - but he was hurting that night.

What a lot of people do not know is that I had a miscarriage just before I became pregnant with CJ. I was only 8 weeks along - and the baby had only developed to about 5 1/2 weeks. I knew the minute I found out I was pregnant that it would not last. I cannot explain how exactly I knew - except I was prompted in my heart. I even when I told Kirk I was pregnant - that it would not lost. Then two months later I was pregnant with CJ. I had a definite impression that I had had the miscarriage because the body of the first was not developing right - and this little spirit needed a body that was developed completely. Now having CJ here and with us almost 6 years - there is no doubt that his little spirit would have gone crazy in a body that could not run and move and get into as much trouble as it does.

CJ is one of those boys that has a smile that just looks like trouble - but he is also the one that writes a paper about his mom (me) that says his favorite thing in the world is to have snuggles with me. That that is his favorite activity to do with me too. So as a mother, I ask you, how can you not love a kid like that? (Doesn't mean you couldn't drop kick him across the room every other day too though.) j/k

Oh - and the air show ended up being a great time - once all heads were counted - and then counted again - and then again --- ok so I kept counting them about every 10 minutes the rest of the two hours we were there. I am a freak - I admit it. And I didn't stay mad at Kirk more than 15 or 20 minutes either.

I wonder what life for people who choose not to have children is like --- definitely quiet and I bet a little boring.