Pain - physical and mental

I am tired of having to worry about pain. It has been almost 2 months since the whole strange pain started. And still no definite answers to what it is. After meeting with the specialist it is leaning towards some time of arthritis that probably was set off by rheumatic fever in February. We were working in our weed filled yard today - that was until the down pour. (Why is it always sunny during the week and raining on the weekend?) Kirk (DH) came up and and told me to stop digging out the weeds in one area because I was going to be sore later. I replied the I was going to be sore later no matter how little of work I did. It is true. I am hen pecking the keyboard right now. The pain I have is not in anyway like ti was when it all first started - I could not walk due to the pain in both legs. But I seem to have more pain in my hands and arms more often now.
I didn't think I would right this much on this blog this fast - but it seems a great outlet for these feelings and thoughts. I do not complain vocally to anyone about the pain. Really it isn't everyday - but when it does show up it makes me feel old, and useless. Maybe that is why I do not give into it. I am afraid if I stop and give into it - it will be worst - or that I would never be doing anything because of it.
I own a online swimsuit company - and so I do a lot of work on the computer - but I also do shipping and tagging of the items - all of which sets off the pain in my arms and hands. But this is the busy season - no way I can give into it. And then add all the activities with 5 kids and the end of the school year. WHich brings me to one of my pet peeves --- why do teachers on every level wait until the last two weeks of school to plan every play, program, report due, and party ( well I get the party thing) until the last two weeks of school. I wonder if the teachers all think it is a little payback for all the pain the rear parents they have to deal with all year. But for those of us who try not to make many waves - it is torture! Whether it is physical torture for the running from three different things in one day with two kids in tow; or the torture of guilt if you cannot make it all the things.
Last week alone between all the kids our calender had orchestra concert, baseball games, singing concert, talent show, Kindergarten graduation, softball practice, youth group, scouts, book report due, display due, a school dance, and that does not include all the everyday business and home items. I know by the end of the week I was snapping at my kids for every little thing. I am sure those weeks the Lord looks at me and thinks - "You are falling Short- be kind to those beautiful children you are blessed with." I want to say back - "then make them listen the first three times I say something."
OK - off to do more work. Venting session over.