Airplanes Everywhere....but no CJ to be found!

So today was the annual Airplane Show. It has become a tradition for us to go. It started at 10 am. But we were running a few minutes late and the traffic was bad enough that we sat at the corner to turn on the the road for parking about 10:10 -- not too bad. So the first few acts we saw from our car -- kids out of seat belts going from one side of the car to the other trying to see the planes in the sky. Me wanting to say - "Get in your seat belts, there is a cop up there!" - but I am not going to be a freak today. I am going to let me kids be kids and enjoy themselves.

We park not to far away, load up with water bottles, chairs, sunscreen,hats, and stroller that carries most of the things and not the baby. Because lets be honest - he is lighter than the stuff.

We pass through the gate - I am head counting - making sure we are all together. I am pushing the stroller and the troops are following. I find a place I think is great - we are not too far back from the runway and can see well. After we start to set up Kirk says we should move. I don't care - I just want to be sitting and watching at this point. That is when I realize - we are missing CJ. My 5 1/2 yr old is gone!!!!! I look all around us - no CJ. I scan up and down the area with all the people - NO CJ! I tell Kirk I am going to head down the way we came. I assume he will go the opposite way. This whole time he says to calm down - and that he will be back and that maybe CJ will learn from this. He also assures me he will show up. I don't care - it is my job to FIND him. I am sure he is scared and cannot see over all the adults walking around.

I walk the whole length of the runway - one direction. I turn around and start back to where I started. I see where our chairs are and make eye contact with Amanda as I approach. "CJ?" I ask - she says no. Kirk is still sitting holding the baby in the same place I left him!!!!! I will be upset with him later.

I turn and see a police officer standing by a bike. I approach him, his back is to me - and before I can say anything, the woman he is speaking to at a table ask, "Are you missing a little boy?" A flood of relief rushes over me as I say "YES!" "Is it one of these two?" she asks - as the police officer moves so I can see next to her. Two little boys about the same age -- and yes CJ is one of them. He is eating a cookie and looks very sad. He runs to me and I sweep him up into my arms. His legs are hanging as I walk away with him held tightly in my arms. We get back to our chairs, and I sit down. I cannot help but let the tears finally flow.

Adyson ask why I am crying. I said - "I was so scared - but couldn't think about it while I looked for CJ. I guess the tears are because I am so happy and over joyed he is safe - that it is ok to cry now." I find out that he had kept walking to look at the cool planes - then turned around and couldn't see us. The police found him and took him to their table to wait for us to find him.

Then CJ announces a minute later that he has to go to the bathroom NOW - and cannot wait.

We stand in a line of 30 people ahead of us - at least - for the port-a-potty. We wait and wait and wait. Just as we get close where there is only 6 people in front of us - he screams while holding between his legs - that he cannot wait another minute! A sweet older woman behind me taps me on the shoulder and points to the grassy area behind the building and says - "Just take the poor boy behind there." I do. I rush him and get him around the corner and he is pulling his pants down a little as we turn the corner --- just to see a woman changing a baby on the ground - we make a wide quick loop pass her and he has his relief. I really do not think we had another second to spare. As we walk back towards the line of people still waiting - the "grandma" lady smiles and ask if we made it. Then her husband says, "I wish she would grab my arm and run me behind a building instead of having to stand here!" Nodding to his wife.

CJ is the child that I fear the most for. He is the one I am just holding my breath that he does not get hit by a car, falls off some playhouse roof and breaks something (or a real roof), that gets taken by some horrible stranger, or that we end up leaving him at a stop during a car trip. The kid never listens, follows directions, and seems to do the exact opposite that he is suppose to. I color my hair off and on now because I started having grey hair spring up --- and I know exactly who has given them to me. He is also the one that is to blame at least in part for every scratch and bruise and cut lip the baby has had. In fact Thursday night he was the reason the baby ran off my bed head first into the floor. Which resulted in a huge knot on his forehead. Coulson is fine - but he was hurting that night.

What a lot of people do not know is that I had a miscarriage just before I became pregnant with CJ. I was only 8 weeks along - and the baby had only developed to about 5 1/2 weeks. I knew the minute I found out I was pregnant that it would not last. I cannot explain how exactly I knew - except I was prompted in my heart. I even when I told Kirk I was pregnant - that it would not lost. Then two months later I was pregnant with CJ. I had a definite impression that I had had the miscarriage because the body of the first was not developing right - and this little spirit needed a body that was developed completely. Now having CJ here and with us almost 6 years - there is no doubt that his little spirit would have gone crazy in a body that could not run and move and get into as much trouble as it does.

CJ is one of those boys that has a smile that just looks like trouble - but he is also the one that writes a paper about his mom (me) that says his favorite thing in the world is to have snuggles with me. That that is his favorite activity to do with me too. So as a mother, I ask you, how can you not love a kid like that? (Doesn't mean you couldn't drop kick him across the room every other day too though.) j/k

Oh - and the air show ended up being a great time - once all heads were counted - and then counted again - and then again --- ok so I kept counting them about every 10 minutes the rest of the two hours we were there. I am a freak - I admit it. And I didn't stay mad at Kirk more than 15 or 20 minutes either.

I wonder what life for people who choose not to have children is like --- definitely quiet and I bet a little boring.