Too Many Thoughts - Too Little Time

The other day my husband and I were talking about how the last month or two it seems that our voices are being raised - yelling - or we are grounding our kids left and right. We have not been able to figure out why. But it is getting to be more often we are upset with our kids than being calm with them.

I told him we should just stop. Just stop yelling. Just stop telling them things three, four, or five times and then yelling to get them to do something. We have taught them to react this way. We have allowed them to learn that we do not mean it the first time we say it. We only mean it the 5th time when we are yelling.

So, yesterday I told the kids that I was done doing that. I would tell them once. Then I would remind them of what we are talking about right now, then there would be a consequence. I would not yell, I would not repeat myself 5 times, and I would not give into any amount of whining once the consequence has been placed. I loved them and respected them too much to yell at them, or teach them not to respect me. They assured me they loved me, knew I loved them and they said they respected me. I said wonderful - so this should be easy.

Today, I did not raise my voice once...not when the almost 6 yr old climbed and straddled the railing that is in the stairwell - where if he fell, he would end up at the bottom of the staircase in the foyer on the tile floor. Not when he climbed up later that night when he stood on a box and leaned on the other railing that is in the foyer and drops straight to the tile floor. Not even when he sprayed 2 different kinds of bug repellent spray (like OFF!) on himself while standing inside the house - in the upstairs hallway. I had everyone open all the windows, and directed him to the shower to get all the chemicals off of him.

I even stood my ground with my 8 year old daughter. She was getting ready to go to the water slide at our local park with her brothers and sisters. I was going to drop them off for 45 minutes while I ran and filled orders for my company. She started screaming about not finding her swimsuit. I reminded her that I was not going to allow yelling in the house. I calmly asked her to stop and go find her suit. Look in the laundry room, since the last she saw it was in the bathroom - and the dirty clothes that day had been picked up by her brother and put in the laundry. She had a meltdown. I calmly told her she had once chance to stop and then she was not going. She kept it up. I then said, there was no need to find the suit. She would be going to work with me. She begged, she pleaded and asked what she could do to get the water slide back. I told her nothing at this time. The consequence was in place. She knew and was warned to stop acting that way , and now she will have to live with her decision.

I have to say, it was hard. I felt bad that she didn't get to go on the water slide - but she now knows Mom means what she says. And Mom never had to raise her voice once to be taken seriously. She came up to me tonight and said she was sorry, and knew I was not a mean mom like she said when she was upset. I guess everything will be ok.

Called the Hospital today to pre-register Coulson - (18 mos. baby) - for his dental surgery Monday morning. We go in 6:30 am, he is taken in at 7:30 am. I have had a peace about it. He went for his 18 month check up today. They also cleared him for the procedure Monday. He is only 21 lbs., and 31.5 inches. Small for his age - but so bright! He has over 100 words. He can follow directions. He can say a few words together to make sentences. He amazes me. His Dad is very nervous about it. Which is funny to me. He has never been really nervous about nay of the other kids when they have had things happen to them. Normal Fatherly worry for each situation - but not nervous. I think because Coulson is so little for his age, our last baby, and we had more concerns during my pregnancy with him, may all add up to why Kirk is the way he is with him.
Kirk has a nickname for each child - Amanda is Punky, Parker is Bug - now Bud, Adyson is Little One, CJ is Chief, and Coulson is Friend - more specific My Friend. He loves each of his kids. He celebrates each of their strengths or talents. Amanda is wonderful at music - Cello, Piano, Singing. Parker is going to be a filmmaker someday. He just has a memory and thirst of knowledge for this subject. Adyson is a wonderful writer. She makes the best cards. When she is asked to make a card for something like Father's Day - th other kids will write the normal love you and happy father's day...she writes all the things she wishes and hopes for Dad on that day. And then list the things she loves about them. CJ has a lot of energy and once he sets his mind on something he cannot be taken off of it. Right now this is can be a frustration for us - but it will be a huge blessing in his life when he is older. Coulson is a fast learner. He learns a new word or item every day. Kirk loves these things. He also loves that the kids like to listen to all kinds of music, they like all kinds of movies, and have a desire to be good and make good choices.
Anyway - with ALL that said, he seems to be a little more protective with Coulson. Maybe it is because he sees how big the other kids are and how they can take care of somethings themselves, and Coulson is not like that yet. He is still a baby. I will post what happens. Fingers crossed and prayers being sent.
This week - well really the last two weeks - have been crazy! I have not been running. Like I have said before - house seems to be out of control with clutter --- things being dropped as we run from one thing to the next. So tomorrow is "little running as possible" day. Parker is not going to Band Camp at 8 am. We are first going to sleep in - because it is summer vacation and we need at least one day this summer that we do that. Then we will stay in our pj's until just before lunch. We will have breakfast, and turn a movie on while we pick up the downstairs. We will not answer the phone or door. We can then get cleaned up for the day - have lunch - I will have orders to do for work (reading time for the kids)- and then we move to the upstairs. Clean and pick up every room upstairs. Then free time will come in play - kids need fresh air. After free time for the kids, we will check and see what is left, do dinner, play games maybe and watch another movie...because you also have a day you watch two or three movies with your kids. Just so they can say - we worked hard, but had fun playing and watching movies that same day. WHAT A DAY!!! Now, let's see how the real life plays out tomorrow.........