Balancing -- and we all fall down

So this question has been running through my mind lately. "Am I just an abnormal mother?" I ask this - because it seems to me there are many areas that I am just WAY different in my thinking than those around me.

The biggest way is leaving my kids with other people. Kirk and I have gone "out" more the last 6 months than we have in our entire marriage. That is due to having an almost 14 year old daughter, and a baby that is no longer nursing. Kirk and I go "out" to the store, a 20 minute bike ride, or to the Temple - that is the longest date. Anyway, my friends around here go out at least once a week for two or three hours. They have a get together with other couples - no kids - at least once a month. I do not like leaving my kids home for more than 2 1/2 or 3 hours tops. I feel guilty and worry about them. Kirk and I go out of town maybe once a year - there have been a few times it has been twice -- but we alwasy have our kids stay with one of the sets of grandparents. And even then I feel bad asking them to do that.

I guess I just have always looked at it like this -
Kirk and I decided to have 5 kids - no one else. We are at the Season in our lives that we still have young kids and they are our responsibility. I do not feel good about leaving them with others to watch once a month or more - so we can go play. I figure it is up to Kirk and I to be creative in how we can find things to do together that does not keep us away from home for long. Like movie date night - we get take out and a movie for the kids and a movie for us. The kids stay downstairs with their movie and we sit in our bedroom and have dinner and watch a movie with no kids. Or we go for a 20 - 45 minute bike ride together.

It just seems lately we have had sooooooo many offers to go do fun things with other couples, and I am always telling them we can't go, or only for part of the time.

Another part of it is - if my kids have been home most of the week, with no activities with friends - and we have some extra money (yeah right) to do something, I would rather do it as a family. Make memories with all of us.

One couple wants us to go on a full day bike ride with them. We need to do this at least once this summer, but that means asking someone to have our 5 kids at their house all day, or having someone come to our house all day and interrupt their plans.

Then the Bishop and his wife invited all the Bishopric to their house in West Yellowstone for a Fish Fry at 6:30 in July, and then to go to the Playmill Theater to see a play at 8:30. But that means we would be leaving here about 5pm and getting home around midnight. And it is in the middle of the week! So people have to work the next day. So I thought I came up with a good balance for the night - we would come to the dinner and socialize - and not go to the play. But I am already getting the "guilt" about how there is plenty of time to come with a solution so we can go to both. I would love to - but I still say I am at a season in my life that I need to balance kids, work, husband, self, and Church.

I need to feel like I am not letting one area slide ( too much) while I focus on the rest. I have friends that are involved in EVERYTHING. They have small children and have no problem handing them off to neighbors, parents, whoever. That is great if that works for them - but not for me. For heaven sakes - I am the one that has run a company out of my house for 5 years - with no room for it - because I did not want my kids to think that IT was more important than them.

Balance - I guess it just comes down to what works for each of us as individuals. But it does not stop people from making comments that make me feel like I am abnormal or crazy. Which I do not understand - I am not judging them on how they balance things or do things.....if it works for them great - but why do I have to do it their way!?! And if I don't I am just weird.

Another thing is rules. We have different rules than almost EVERY one of children's friends. But I just keep telling them that every house is different. That what one set of parents feel is good for their family and home, is not going to be the same as us. And that is ok - because each set of parents can be helped by Heavenly Father to know which rules work for which kids, and which families. And over all - our kids are great and good kids. They still are kids and drive me crazy at times - but they are good kids.

Oh well, just had to throw that question out into the universe. Maybe I just need to keep doing what I am doing, whether I am abnormal or not - it seems to working be for us on most days. =)